you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
