You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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