Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
