I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
