i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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