Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize