Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
