plz talk dirty to me
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
