I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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