Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
