Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize