Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
