Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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