so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
