look no pants
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
