Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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