we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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