well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize