Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i've created a new STD.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize