was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
