i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
