I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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