Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
