not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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