I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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