hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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