Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Randomize
