Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
