just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
