Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
