Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
