She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
