just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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