I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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