What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
