So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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