ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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