Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
