Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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