You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
