I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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