my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
