Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
NoShamevember. You game?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
