Dual....:-)
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
