Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
