Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
