I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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