So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
