eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
