Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
