we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm going to jail i love you
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
