ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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