He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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