Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You ruined the universe
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize