I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
