I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
