After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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