There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
