But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
