I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
