Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize