just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
