he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
