Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
