guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
