If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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