hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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